Tuesday 14 February 2012

This isn't as easy as I thought it would be

The next time I get a great idea, I'm going to turn around and just go back to bed.

Had the brainwave this afternoon to start a blog. Goodness knows who wants to read about my life, but the house was clean and I was desperate for something to do. I should have known that it wouldn't be as easy as that.

The creating of the blog hasn't been the hard part, in fact if I knew it would be this easy, I would have done it a long time ago. The problem I have is 10 months old and gets around on all fours. That's right, I suffer from what is commonly known as being a single mum. Of a grumpy, teething, clingy baby. Since I started creating this blog, I have stopped no less than ten times to refill bottles, pick up teething rusks, stop her from climbing on my chair, stop her from climbing on top of the TV table, make her tea, make her a different tea when she wouldn't eat what I made for her the first time, and comfort her when she cries. I know, this is all part of my job as her mother, and I don't begrudge doing these things for her, I should just know by now that free time is an oxymoron once you have children.

So where is baby daddy while all this is happening? He lives 170 kilometers away in a beautiful middle class suburb with his mum. I can't judge him because I live in a tiny country town in the house I lived in as a child with my mum. My ex Ady and I did live together at the beginning of the relationship, and I mean the very beginning, he moved in with me 2 weeks after we met. We got engaged after a month of dating, and I fell pregnant after 6 months. I used to joke that at the rate things were moving, I'd be ready for retirement at 35. It was early in the pregnancy when I realised I was going to have to be a single mum. Ady has a bad habit of walking away from things when they get too hard for him to cope with, and I was terrified that we were going to be just another thing to be put in the too hard basket very early on, so to protect myself and our child to be, I signed my lease of my beautiful 2 bedroom flat over to him, packed all my belongings into boxes to be put into storage at my brother's house and moved back into the house I grew up in.

That was almost 18 months ago, and a lot has happened in that time, both good and bad. There were a lot of fights with Ady both before Miss K was born and after, she got sick at 2 weeks old and almost died, my mum had a heart attack and almost died, and we've had a multitude of firsts like Miss K's first Easter, first Christmas, and first tooth. And yet, my story is nowhere near over. Which is why I've decided to start this blog. There is a lot that I have missed out on documenting, so I'll probably do a lot of retrospective writing in the future, but I also want to document the things that are to come. Hopefully anyone who finds me will enjoy reading this blog, but if you don't like it, please feel free to move on.

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